Womanhood

I've been thinking a lot lately about my role as a woman. I am a homemaker. I'm supposed to make my home a temple, a safe haven from the world. I'm supposed to be a nurturer and teacher. A mother, friend, and companion to my husband. And my place is in the home. While that is not a reasonable possibility just yet, I feel it in my bones that the place for this woman is in her home. In the home to keep it tidy, organized. To cook healthy meals and raise happy children. To decorate and design a home of peace, comfort and love. To be available to keep the home running smoothly. Now I'm not ignorant to the fact that these things don't always happen even when the woman is in the home. But the feelings inside me draw me to be in my home for my family. However, I don't want to say that women who have to work or choose to work are wrong. I actually love working, but my heart is telling me at this time to be working in my home. To put my heart here, and not at my job. I just don't know how people can balance work, home and family. Maybe I just don't do it so well, but if I could just eliminate my job...I really think I could make this house a home. This year I'm hoping to fill it with baby cries and giggles. (I'm not pregnant, don't get excited) But this is my year.

The other thoughts on my mind are personal but I want to share even though I tend to keep it within my close family and friends. I want a baby, so badly. I'm really tired of hearing about all these people having babies. (Please don't take this personally if your having a baby or getting a baby). It's not a personal thing against any one person. I'm just tired of being left out. Wow! That brought on some unexpected tears. I've been having a hard time realizing that I'm running out of friends without kids. And it's hard not to lose a little hope. But......this is my year. We are going to see some fertility specialists and do our part to try to make this whole kid thing happen. And maybe in the process we'll discover a solution to the migraines. I got some lab results today that show I have high cholesterol, (yikes it sounds like I'm getting old) and high levels of prolactin, which is a hormone that can be a cause to infertility. If those levels are high then it means other hormones are not being released to trigger ovulation. The solution could be as simple as medication. Let's all pray that's the case. So we're on the war path and we're here to win the battle.

Well, enough of the womanhood and crying. Just thought I'd share.