Womanhood

I've been thinking a lot lately about my role as a woman. I am a homemaker. I'm supposed to make my home a temple, a safe haven from the world. I'm supposed to be a nurturer and teacher. A mother, friend, and companion to my husband. And my place is in the home. While that is not a reasonable possibility just yet, I feel it in my bones that the place for this woman is in her home. In the home to keep it tidy, organized. To cook healthy meals and raise happy children. To decorate and design a home of peace, comfort and love. To be available to keep the home running smoothly. Now I'm not ignorant to the fact that these things don't always happen even when the woman is in the home. But the feelings inside me draw me to be in my home for my family. However, I don't want to say that women who have to work or choose to work are wrong. I actually love working, but my heart is telling me at this time to be working in my home. To put my heart here, and not at my job. I just don't know how people can balance work, home and family. Maybe I just don't do it so well, but if I could just eliminate my job...I really think I could make this house a home. This year I'm hoping to fill it with baby cries and giggles. (I'm not pregnant, don't get excited) But this is my year.

The other thoughts on my mind are personal but I want to share even though I tend to keep it within my close family and friends. I want a baby, so badly. I'm really tired of hearing about all these people having babies. (Please don't take this personally if your having a baby or getting a baby). It's not a personal thing against any one person. I'm just tired of being left out. Wow! That brought on some unexpected tears. I've been having a hard time realizing that I'm running out of friends without kids. And it's hard not to lose a little hope. But......this is my year. We are going to see some fertility specialists and do our part to try to make this whole kid thing happen. And maybe in the process we'll discover a solution to the migraines. I got some lab results today that show I have high cholesterol, (yikes it sounds like I'm getting old) and high levels of prolactin, which is a hormone that can be a cause to infertility. If those levels are high then it means other hormones are not being released to trigger ovulation. The solution could be as simple as medication. Let's all pray that's the case. So we're on the war path and we're here to win the battle.

Well, enough of the womanhood and crying. Just thought I'd share.

Painted

Before

After

Before

After

Ok

For all of you who have been waiting awhile this is for you. I always feel I have to have something important to put or some great pics to post in order to leave a post on my blog but I don't this time. I have pictures on my camera which is sitting on my desk just feet away but then I would have to find the cord to hook the camera up to the computer and then I would have to find the pics I wanted out of all the ones on there. And don't forget a caption for each and well....I don't even know if they are that exciting. But some things I do find exciting is the painting we are doing in our house. From tan to grey. Don't worry I think we have enough red accents to keep the place bright. I will post pics when it's all done. Also exciting is the friendship we are building with our FHE partners. They make us happy and uplift us. Not that not all of you do too. We love all our friends. Exciting is the sewing I've done on my curtains to try to fancy them up from bed sheets. Yes. I have bed sheets hanging in my windows. Again, pics will come when they are finished. And last of all...I'm excited about the growing feelings inside to be at home in the future and to be a mom. I feel it in my bones. This will be our year! Guess that's all for now. Most of you are probably not as excited with just reading posts as you are with picture posts so we'll keep this one short. Stay tuned for up and coming pictures.