I just watched an episode of 30 Rock and thought this was the funniest quote ever. I just have to share it with somebody.

"So how bad is diabetes really?
It's quite serious. If left untreated you could lose a foot.
Could I replace it with a wheel like Rosie from the Jetsons?
I suppose but then you'd have to register as a motor vehicle."

My Precious

My Precious Babies. While God has not blessed me with children of my own He has blessed me with you. While my womb remains barren my heart remains full of love and gratitude. You are my blessings. You are my joys. You never stop loving me. Life would be a little more empty if you weren't in it. Heavenly Father knew what He was doing when he created you. While I know you won't always get to be here, I hope you'll want to be with me when we're in heaven. Your eyes, your wagging tail let me know just how happy you are to have me around. Thank you for loving me so much!
(I don't think you have to be a dog lover to understand my feelings for my dogs. They are my children and I'm thankful I have them in my life to take care of.)

More Evidence

I was talking to a friend about blogs and how most people appear to have the perfect, happy-go-lucky lives. To me even hearing their children's poop stories doesn't change my feelings that they have a good, happy family life. But the truth is no one does. We all have things we hide or are ashamed of. No child is smiley all the time and no parent is perfect. No LDS member lives the gospel perfectly and no marriage is all love and roses. So here is my evidence of my imperfect life, starting with the empty fridge. While we've been blessed to buy a house, it has come with great financial sacrifices. Don't worry, we aren't starving but it is a humble reminder to look in the fridge and remember our choice.

I'm not the best parent to my dog's. I tend to lose my patience and yell, even when they've done nothing wrong. They don't get regular baths and their nails have not been clipped for a very, very long time. Ume tends to get mats in her fur and I'm not diligent at brushing them out. I haven't even taken them to the vet for a very long time, probably at least a year. But I sure love them and do my best to give them the attention they deserve.

I do not look pretty without make up or my hair done. This is the evidence of a late morning and I'm still in my pj's. I have a hormone inbalance that makes me break out often and I have a nasty habit (or maybe you should call it a nervous addiction) where I can't leave my "blemishes" alone. It's embarrassing and really does a number on my self esteem. The hormone inbalance has also made it hard or maybe even impossible for me to get pregnant and we have not had any success in 5 years. All I ever wanted to be was a mom. That's probably why your children's poop stories are still so glamorous to me. (However, I'm not looking for sympathy, just sharing evidence of my not so glamorous life).

I'm bad at taking care of my dog's nails as well as my own. I painted my toe nails before Christmas! I haven't done a thing to them since. Yuck!

And of course, my house is never as clean as when you visit it. The laundry piles up in and out of the basket. The sink, mirror, toilet, and bath tub go unclean until I can't stand it any more or I have visitors.

The counter on a regular day is loaded with dirty dishes and piles of mail opened, unopened and bills paid or unpaid. Old grocery receipts and even drips of melted icecream from a week ago. Yuck!

I often leave the dog's ramblings all over the house until it's time to clean. All their toy's stuffing, ripped toilet paper and even cardboard just lie there until I feel like cleaning.

I often find my shoes in a variety of places, by the bed, on the living room floor, by the door, even in the bathroom. I'm really bad at putting them away. The dishes pile up in the sink and I even have a dishwasher. Talk about lazy!

Ah, and the place for romance. It so often holds the evidence of clean laundry and even some dirty laundry. Ever find yourself sniffing clothes to determine their status? That's my room in a nutshell. I always wanted to have a clean organized room where peace and love would be obtained but I can't seem to obtain anything!

and last but not least, the room that we're painting. Part of that explains the chaos but not all of it. Granted we also have little furniture, so many things don't even have a home yet but I'll tell you what, I'm tired of it.

So there you have it. Evidence that life in the King"dom" is not so fairy tale-ish. Our marriage hasn't been the best, my sanity is not always there, my dogs are not always clean, my home is rarely as nice as it "appears" to be. My self esteem usually sits low on the scale and I'm even in counseling. So no worries! You're not alone in this world of chaos and confusion. There's plenty of evidence of that!

New Year, New Things

It's a new year with new things like an updated due, which I updated myself. This is what it looks like natural. All I did was get out of the shower. I didn't know it could be so wavy on it's own. It really doesn't look that different, I just thinned it out a lot.

A new journal. I finished my old one last night and I've been dying to get this one. I found it at Barnes & Noble over a month ago and knew one day I had to have it to write wonderful things in.

A new outlook. This is a new time for me and I've decided to focus on me a little more and pursue more of my interests, maybe even finish school. I just need to figure out what I'm passionate about so I can study it more. If anyone knows what that is...let me know.

New sweaters. To keep the kiddles warm. Ume is always shivering in our house so I thought it was time to do something for my little girl. She's a sweetheart and deserves a pretty pink sweater. And Ryu really knows how to pull off turquoise and green don't you think?


And last but not least, a new hobby. Movies. I've really been enjoying creating my own little movies. Here's the latest....