1) Read my scriptures.
I have a migraine today, so I thought I'd take some time to blog about something I've been keeping to myself. Part of my blogging goal is to be more open with others. I think I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I think in a one on one situation I still do. But I've somehow managed to become closed off to my friends and family that are not immediately around me. So, I want to talk to you about my infertility. I think this all started from thinking about a cousin of mine who didn't have kids until she was in her later thirties. I always have assumed it was because she wanted a career first. That may be the case, but then again it may not. Who am I to judge? Then I got to thinking, "How do others perceive my situation?" I think most of you probably assume I just can't have kids and that is mostly true. I want children more than anything else in this world but I can't have children within my own power. As of this week I've started my last round of fertility drugs after using them for a year. I will not be going back on them after this month. In my mind, I feel like this is my last chance but I guess, truthfully, it's not. There is nothing the doctors could find wrong with me or Levi. It's just not our time. It sucks knowing you're fully capable to do something but it's not part of the Plan. Because this is our last try with the Clomid I asked Levi to give me a blessing last night. At first he was just going to give me a blessing of comfort but then felt inspired to give me a blessing of healing, to heal any infirmities I may have. We both feel that if there was anything wrong with me I have now been healed of that. And then he blessed me to know that my Heavenly Father is proud of my accomplishments and that He loves being my Father. He said we may not be blessed to have babies with these bodies but that we would be parent's in some way or another be it adoption or inheritance. I found it interesting that he used the word "inheritance." He said that Heavenly Father asks me to be patient a little longer. All these things were hard to hear and yet somehow I knew that would be what I was going to hear. I guess I was hoping I would be blessed to get pregnant, but it doesn't sound like that's in the Plan right now. So I guess I have some closure. I have felt that if I didn't get pregnant it's because I haven't been doing enough, I haven't been trying hard enough. Now I can say, "It's not my fault. It's not supposed to be." That gives me some comfort. I can let it go. It's not in my hands and I haven't disappointed my God. It still hurts and I will always crave children but I do have a testimony that God has a Plan for me and I will somehow and someday be a mother. So there it is....all on my sleeve.
This is the picture I had originally wanted to post. It's hilarious. Natalie's waving at John.
Susan's walking into the picture while Jackie's flipping her hair. Dave and Kannon are watching the TV. Betsy and mom are fixing something on Sarah. Nancy looks like she's cleaning out Tyler's nose. Ha ha. And all the while Ben's posed and ready to go.
Maybe I should have set one of my goals to be to learn how to blog better. My Resolutions post is ridiculous. Please excuse my errors.
Ok...New Year's Resolutions #1 priority...more Blogging. Ha Ha...yeah right. That's actually not one of my goals but something I plan on doing more of. Mostly to see if it helps me keep my sanity. But for reals...here are my 6 goals:
#1. Pray more - I've really been slacking in this area and don't feel as close to my Father in Heaven as I should. After all, Who is the one that blesses me with all that I have? The least I could do is chat Him up more.
#2. Read my scriptures - I'm embarrassed to admit at failing at that too but all I have to say is that for some reason playing solitaire on my phone for 15 minutes before closing my eyes always seems more fun. I do love, though, how already the little reading I'm doing is changing my perspective for the better.
#3. Go to the temple each month - So get this... I live, literally, blocks away from the temple. I could take a 15 minute walk, hop on Trax and get there. I have no excuse.
#4. Finally submit my children's book to someone - I've had this thing written for years and each year I think I'll do it. This year, I will. I'm setting some small goals along the way to get me there and a due date. Wish me luck!
#5. Loose 10 pounds - Say what you want...but remember I'm not going to tell you what weight you should be. I've put on a lot of weight in the last year from just laziness and haven't been this heavy since college when I was eating cake mix for dinner. I can safely loose 10 pounds and still be healthy.
#6. Go back to school - It's my time. I've always thought I had to put school off to try to build this family and make everything work. Well, the family isn't really growing as planned and if I'm going to work I might as well be doing what I want to do. So what do I want to do? Marriage Counseling. It's a lot of schooling but I'm actually excited about it.
That's it folks. I figure the simpler the goals the more likely I'll complete them. Now I just need to write them down on something other than this blog and plaster them on the fridge. It's going to happen....I can feel it. I'll keep you updated each month.
So here's what you missed....Nancy at Thanksgiving....don't look to thrilled. I was just testing a lens so there was no reason to smile.
So, I've been disgruntled with life as of late. Things go good for awhile then bad stuff happens and i find myself constantly thinking, "It will get better when...." But I'm realizing there is not going to be any "when". There's not supposed to be. I'm supposed to be happy now. About every two years I start to get antsy and want to plan our next step in life, hoping that if we take that next step I'll finally be content with life. Newsflash...that's not going to happen and here's why: I am not every going to be satisfied with my life until I learn to be happy with what I've got. And so here's my list of what I've got:
Hello All!
In an effort to pay down some debt I've decided to clear out my Mary Kay inventory. I'm selling it for a few cents more than cost which means huge discounts for you. So take the time to look over what I've got and put in your request. It's first come first serve so let me know right away what you want. This is a great opportunity that will probably not happen again, so take advantage and stock up on your wants and needs. Prices are listed below (tax not included). Check out MaryKay.com for visuals of any colors and items you want. I will have to charge shipping, if shipping is required. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your business!
Janet
801.694.8078
Each item is listed with regular price then sale price.
Eye Shadow
Moonstone (2) $6.50 $4.00
Lemongrass $6.50 $4.00
Vintage Gold (2) $6.50 $4.00
Sweet Pink $6.50 $4.00
Steel $6.50 $4.00
Honey Spice $6.50 $4.00
Navy Blue $6.50 $4.00
Denim Frost $6.50 $4.00
Golden Olive $6.50 $4.00
Chocolate Kiss (2) $6.50 $4.00
Silky Caramel $6.50 $4.00
Sweet Cream (2) $6.50 $4.00
Sienna $6.50 $4.00
Hazelnut $6.50 $4.00
Spun Silk $6.50 $4.00
Crystalline $6.50 $4.00
Eyeliner
Deep Brown (2) $10.00 $6.00
Taupe $10.00 $6.00
Bronze (2) $10.00 $6.00
Steely (3) $10.00 $6.00
Black (2) $10.00 $6.00
Amethyst $10.00 $6.00
Mascara
Black Ultimate Mascara (2) $15.00 $8.00
Black/brown Ultimate Mascara (2) $15.00 $8.00
Black Lash Lengthening Mascara $10.00 $6.00
Blush
Shy Blush $10.00 $6.00
Golden Copper $10.00 $6.00
Sunny Spice (3) $10.00 $6.00
Pink Petals $10.00 $6.00
Shy Blush $10.00 $6.00
Mineral Powder Foundation
Beige 1 (2) $18.00 $10.00
Beige 2 $18.00 $10.00
Ivory 2 $18.00 $10.00
Medium Coverage Foundation
Ivory 104 (2) $14.00 $8.00
Ivory 204 (2) $14.00 $8.00
Beige 300 (3) $14.00 $8.00
Beige 400 $14.00 $8.00
Full Coverage Foundation
Ivory 104 $14.00 $8.00
Ivory 200 (2) $14.00 $8.00
Ivory 204 $14.00 $8.00
Biege 304 $14.00 $8.00
Beige 400 $14.00 $8.00
Skin Care
Peach Satin Hands Set $30.00 $16.00
Unscented Satin Hands Set $30.00 $16.00
Trial-sized Miracle Set (Oily/Combination) $45.00 $24.00
Trial-sized Miracle Set (Normal/Dry) $45.00 $24.00
Timewise 3-in-1 Cleanser (Normal Dry) (3) $18.00 $10.00
Timewise Age Fighting Moisturizer (Normal/Dry) (3) $22.00 $12.00
Blemish Control Toner (2) $13.00 $7.00
Oil Free Eye Makeup Remover (2) $14.00 $8.00
Timewise Sunscreen Moisturizer Spf 15 $22.00 $12.00
Oil Free Hydrating Gel $30.00 $16.00
30 SPF Sunscreen $14.00 $8.00
Microderm Abrasion Set $55.00 $30.00
Timewise Night Solution (4) $30.00 $16.00
Timewise Day Solution (3) $30.00 $16.00
Eye Firming Cream (3) $30.00 $16.00
Target Action Line Reducer $40.00 $22.00
Satin Lips Lip Mask (3) $9.50 $4.00
Satin Lips Lip Balm $9.50 $4.00
Lipliner
Dusty Pink (2) $10.00 $6.00
Neutral (4) $10.00 $6.00
Pink Rose $10.00 $6.00
Lipstick
Pink Satin $13.00 $7.00
Pink Shimmer $13.00 $7.00
Amber Glow $13.00 $7.00
Berry Kiss $13.00 $7.00
Tanned $13.00 $7.00
Dusty Rose $13.00 $7.00
Raisinberry $13.00 $7.00
Frosted Rose $13.00 $7.00
Whipped Berry (2) $13.00 $7.00
Mocha Freeze $13.00 $7.00
Apricot Glaze (2) $13.00 $7.00
Sweet Nectar (2) $13.00 $7.00
Lip Gloss
Gold Rush $13.00 $7.00
Hawaiin Sunset $13.00 $7.00
Cream & Sugar $13.00 $7.00
Starry $13.00 $7.00
Carribean Coral $13.00 $7.00
Polynesian Petal $13.00 $7.00
Melon Sorbet $13.00 $7.00
Coral Rose $13.00 $7.00
Sugarberry (2) $13.00 $7.00
Berry Sparkle (2) $13.00 $7.00
Pink Diamonds (2) $13.00 $7.00
Sweet Raisin (2) $13.00 $7.00
Seasonal Items
Cashmere Loose Eye Shadow $14.00 $7.00
Pink Organza Loose Eye Shadow $14.00 $7.00
Soft Sable Blush Set (includes brush & lacey bag) $14.00 $7.00
Silk Nectar Blush Set (includes brush & lacey bag) $14.00 $7.00
Other Items
Sparkling Honeysuckle Lotion $15.00 $8.00
Simply Cotton Lotion $15.00 $8.00
Roll Up Carry Bag $30.00 $18.00
Black Cosmetic Bag (3) $5.00 $3.00
Summer Cosmetic Bag $5.00 $3.00
Foundation brush (3) $10.00 $6.00
